Thursday, January 30, 2014

I Do "Nothing" All Day

I woke up last night at 3 AM to our baby girl crying. She was hungry. My husband got her and brought her into our room, and as soon as she saw me she stopped crying and started smiling ear to ear. I LOVE that. Then this morning I read an article by a woman who has, in my opinion, know idea what she’s talking about. Some may agree with her, but I’m pretty sure that the vast majority don’t. And I know that I don’t.
In the article the author says, “Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself?” I would say that the answer to that question is a huge, resounding yes! I don’t know what it’s like to have a career, but I do know what it’s like to be a stay at home mom. We take care of ourselves, our husbands, our children, our home, and handle other responsibilities too. All at the same time. All the time. 24/7. Not to say that other women aren't, but we are multi-taskers to the extreme.
I don’t like to argue, and I’m not good at it anyway. If I get in an argument I usually think of a good comeback 20 minutes later, or the next day. These are just a few thoughts I’ve had this morning.
I’ve only been a wife for a little more than a year and a half. And I’ve only been a mom for 3 months. But it’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. A wife and mother. That’s my dream. If your dream is to be a teacher, an engineer, the CEO of a company, or to climb Mt. Everest that’s fine. I’m not going to go bashing on your dream. So please don’t criticize me for fulfilling mine. I have nothing wrong with women who choose a career over a family. But I do, with those who criticize my choice. If it was such a horrible way of life, why do so many choose to live it? How do you think we all got here?
I may not have the “freedom” that some say you lose when you get married or have children, but I am never alone in anything that I do. For me, there is no better way to evaluate myself than when I’m holding my daughter and she looks up at me with her big blue eyes and I wonder what she’s thinking, what she can see about me that I don’t see myself. Or when she watches the TV. She’s only three months old, but it makes me think, should I be watching this, would I want her to watch this. And, just on a side note, I think we can all agree a baby’s laugh is one of the best sounds in the world. If you don’t agree, there’s something wrong with you.
No promotion will ever feel as good as my husband coming home and telling me how beautiful I am, or how great of a job I’m doing taking care of our baby, myself, him and our home. No promotion will ever feel as good as when I tell my baby that I love her and she just smiles as if to say “I love you too Mom.” Or going to bed every night and the last thing I hear is my husband telling me how much he loves me.
As for housework, we all do it, or we all should, whether we’re married, single, if we have kids or not. Yes, it is a pain sometimes, and it’s even harder when there is a child, or your husband demanding your attention. Yes, it’s hard to wake up in the middle of the night (sometimes several times) knowing that you probably won’t get to take a nap the next day and catch up on your sleep. But, I can’t imagine it being harder than living life alone. Without someone to talk to every day. Someone, like your husband, to tell about how you got pooped on, spit up on, slobbered on, how you burnt the cookies, how you forgot about the laundry and had to wash it twice because you left if in the washer for too long. Someone to tell your fears to. Someone to tell about how you watched your baby discover something new, and you realized, again, how amazing human life and the human brain is.
I know that the woman who wrote this article will probably never read what I’m writing, and I don’t really care if she were to read it.  But, I had to write down how I felt somewhere. The plain fact is, she has no idea what she’s missing out on. I don’t know her circumstances or situation in life, but I honestly feel bad for her. I got married a week after my twentieth birthday to my best friend, and had a baby a little over a year later. I do housework every day, and take care of our baby while my husband is at school. I change who knows how many diapers in a 24-hour period. I never get enough sleep, and I’m constantly tired. Some might say I’m crazy, that I didn’t have the chance to do anything with my life, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is what I want to do with my life. I know that some women choose to have a career, some are working moms, and some women would love to be a mom but are unable to for whatever reason.  But, I also know that if it weren’t for mothers, and stay at home moms who do “nothing” all day, society would go to pieces.
I love my little family, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

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